Stupid sex characteristics straight cis boys share:
1. They expect you to be good at sex things (blowjobs mostly), but are dismayed and repulsed by the thought that you honed those skills on some other guy’s dick.
2. They think that girls get more out of sex than they do because they’re weirdly obsessed with the efficiency and sexual potency of their dick. (No matter how big or small it is, and no matter how much or little work they put into fucking you)
3. They think that—without knowing your body at all— they can somehow make you come the first time you ever have sex, through penetration only, in less than 20 minutes.
4. They try things that should really stay in porn, because most of the time that’s where they learn everything about sex. Things like slapping you in the face with their dick, or going at your muffin shop like they’re trying to scrape paint off a house.
5. Their self worth is strangely tied to their ability to make girls come, and if you don’t because of their lack of ability/consideration, they are more likely to get mad at you for not validating them, than they are to try harder or ask you what it is that you actually like.
I’m getting really close to being done forever with straight cis guys.
like really fucking close