Kayla. Chicago, Novelist. Queer. Womanist. Generation Y.

This is my personal blog when I'm not writing Licorice Whip. I'm super nice, and often funny. Message me and stuff.


It must be noted that this is my SECONDARY ACCOUNT, so I can only respond to you with the account titled 'kaylapocalypse', my author site. Sorry. Tumblr house rules.
June 15th
00:25
Via
ohcorny:

tortle:

catbuttcat:

heysawbones:

A Proud Moment.
I don’t have a degree in eating blocks of cream cheese, which sucks because I’m sure it would add a lot of value to my CV. (Instead, I have “lying, poorly”. Does that count?). 

I did eat a block of cream cheese once, though. I remember it fondly, because it was one of the proudest moments of my life. This probably says a lot about me, though god only knows what.
I used to be part of a youth group, which is to say, yes, I was part of a church once. I was the “youth leader”, which is the church’s way of saying, “you are the only person in the youth group who doesn’t roll your eyes at us, when we talk to you.” What they did not know is that - aside from not actually being terribly religious - I had made the youth minister my sworn enemy.

He was a weird guy. Very young; not too bright, frankly. Had a goatee, because the law requires all youth ministers to have goatees. It’s true. Look it up. He told us that Mormons owned Pepsi-Cola, and that The Gay Agenda created yaoi to recruit young men, the latter of which “fact” was really, really funny. A lot of the things he did were not so funny. Once, we went to a nursing home, where he decided to jump up and down in the elevator. He knew, of course, that I had an elevator phobia. I asked him to stop. He began sing-screaming, LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN as he jumped. A chaperone asked him to stop, couldn’t he see I was afraid? I backed into the corner and crouched there, clinging to the railing. That was the day he became more than just a moron. That was the day I decided I would make his youth-group life a hell.

Most of the time, all I had to do was ask real questions about the Bible, and then ask him questions about his answers, and so on and so forth until he ran out of excuses, or said something deeply embarrassing. One day, he was trying to explain why it was still totally okay for parents to stone their kids to death for disobeying. He was flustered; inarticulate. I pulled a room-temperature block of Philadelphia cream cheese. He watched me unwrap it as he rambled on. I took a bite. I locked eyes. I did not look away. I ate in silence. There was confusion written all over his features. His sentences tumbled apart into further incoherence, and faded away. He was afraid. 

I cherish that moment. 

Why am I laughing so hard??

I had to read this out loudI can’t breathe

found it

This is the best thing i’ve read all day.

ohcorny:

tortle:

catbuttcat:

heysawbones:

A Proud Moment.

I don’t have a degree in eating blocks of cream cheese, which sucks because I’m sure it would add a lot of value to my CV. (Instead, I have “lying, poorly”. Does that count?). 
I did eat a block of cream cheese once, though. I remember it fondly, because it was one of the proudest moments of my life. This probably says a lot about me, though god only knows what.
I used to be part of a youth group, which is to say, yes, I was part of a church once. I was the “youth leader”, which is the church’s way of saying, “you are the only person in the youth group who doesn’t roll your eyes at us, when we talk to you.” What they did not know is that - aside from not actually being terribly religious - I had made the youth minister my sworn enemy.
He was a weird guy. Very young; not too bright, frankly. Had a goatee, because the law requires all youth ministers to have goatees. It’s true. Look it up. He told us that Mormons owned Pepsi-Cola, and that The Gay Agenda created yaoi to recruit young men, the latter of which “fact” was really, really funny. A lot of the things he did were not so funny. Once, we went to a nursing home, where he decided to jump up and down in the elevator. He knew, of course, that I had an elevator phobia. I asked him to stop. He began sing-screaming, LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN as he jumped. A chaperone asked him to stop, couldn’t he see I was afraid? I backed into the corner and crouched there, clinging to the railing. That was the day he became more than just a moron. That was the day I decided I would make his youth-group life a hell.
Most of the time, all I had to do was ask real questions about the Bible, and then ask him questions about his answers, and so on and so forth until he ran out of excuses, or said something deeply embarrassing. One day, he was trying to explain why it was still totally okay for parents to stone their kids to death for disobeying. He was flustered; inarticulate. I pulled a room-temperature block of Philadelphia cream cheese. He watched me unwrap it as he rambled on. I took a bite. I locked eyes. I did not look away. I ate in silence. There was confusion written all over his features. His sentences tumbled apart into further incoherence, and faded away. He was afraid. 
I cherish that moment. 

Why am I laughing so hard??

I had to read this out loud
I can’t breathe

found it

This is the best thing i’ve read all day.

June 12th
13:10

It’s so great and satisfying when I’m reading a fanfiction and the person who is writing it mentions other fandoms in the story as if the media we have is also a part of the media that exists in the world in which the fanfiction is set.

May 20th
06:06

I’m a fickle thing to love.

I’m like a wild animal.

I’ll only come if you beckon, not if you call. I’ll struggle if held tight, but nose at you lovingly if you sit still and wait. A hand around my wrist triggers fight or flight, but a hand on the back of my neck melts my resolve. 

I’m not quite a thing that can be kept.

But I am a thing that can be caught. And I will scratch and bite my way free.

Until you know that you could have had me, if you’d just let me be. 

March 28th
01:31
Via
wormwoodandhoney:

girls fighting evil: girl gangs

running round in my girl gang
-kate nash, girl gang (x)

(the snarky younger sisters of the femme fatales. they travel in packs, their collected families of broken girls, cigarettes, and bruises. they don’t care for demons and the way they act like they own humanity. no one owns humanity, and no one owns them. they’re used to cutting class and corners- what’s a few demons’ throats in the grand scheme of things?)

FYI, guys. My new book after The Wicker Throne is gonna be about a girl gang. There is literally nothing sexier. 

wormwoodandhoney:

girls fighting evil: girl gangs

running round in my girl gang

-kate nash, girl gang (x)

(the snarky younger sisters of the femme fatales. they travel in packs, their collected families of broken girls, cigarettes, and bruises. they don’t care for demons and the way they act like they own humanity. no one owns humanity, and no one owns them. they’re used to cutting class and corners- what’s a few demons’ throats in the grand scheme of things?)

FYI, guys. My new book after The Wicker Throne is gonna be about a girl gang. There is literally nothing sexier. 

February 11th
20:01

How to make your posts appear in chronological order with the push of a button.

As a writer who creates long texts out of a series of small posts, it was so so important to me that my readers at least have a chance to be able to read them in order.

But because tumblr’s architecture doesn’t have an easy way to support doing this, me and a couple of people have figured out a way, through jumping a series of hoops and running through some red tape, to create a way for people to arrange their posts in chronological order in an easy accessible way for their readers. There are two ways to do this, because some themes don’t support the primary way and this post will go over both:

1. The first thing you need to do is tag every post you want to show up in this chronological list with the same tag. It should be something unique to your blog. For example I use the tag “the beginning” in all of my posts.

2. Now that all your posts have been tagged, you can manually create a link using the term “/chrono” at the end. For example if you used the term “the beginning for your primary tag, the link would look like this:

“http://www.yourblognamehere.tumblr.com/tagged/the_beginning/chrono”

Putting the term “/chrono” at the end of the link will arrange all of your posts with the tag you chose in chronological order. Go ahead, try it and see. If you’d like, you can arrange any tag in chronological order by doing this. Its really fun and can help organize your site a lot, especially if you’re a novelist or using it for a news blog.

3. THIS IS THE HARD PART: making a link for your page.

Every blog theme is slightly different and I have had to deal with a lot of themes that require you to hop several hoops before you can get anything to work the way your want. So. Here goes nothing

  • You open the customize link and scroll down to “pages” on the left hand side. Click the button that says ” +Add a page”. and a small window will open up. In the “Standard Link” section make a name for your new button. I tend to use the name “read from the beginning”. Then, in order to get the button to redirect readers to a chronological version of your site (or to a chronological list of posts under the term you chose)  at the top of that window there will be a pulldown menu. click the option ” redirect”. Place the link your created previously in the “Redirect to” section. In the “Page URL” section, make up a quick url to redirect from. usually I go with “yourpagenamehere.tumblr.com/redirect”. Then press save. In the section where you would have your information like “Archive” or “RSS” or “About” there will be a new link that says “Read From The Beginning” that when you click it, it will order everything the way I said it would.

4. On the off chance that that didn’t work (which it sometimes doesn’t) there is another way. Most people couldn’t give two shits about their RSS Feed button. No one really uses it. Most people feel similarly about their “Archive button”. So, because no one cares, there is a way to go into the html and replace that link with any link of your choice.  

How to do this: You go up to the top of the customize section under the picture that says what theme you’re using and there is a button that says “Edit HTML”. Click that button and the left side will open up into the HTML of your blog. DONT FREAK OUT. I REPEAT DON’T FREAK OUT. YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO WRITE HTML/CSS TO DO THIS. JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS. Press the keys “Ctrl” and “F”  at the same time and a word finder will open up.  Type the word “archive” into the finder and it should highlight the word “archive” in the CSS. it might take a couple of tries (no more than 3), but you need to find the correct use of archive. It should look like this 

{block:ifDisplayarchivebutton}
<div class=”leftbox”><a href=”/archive”>Archive</a></div>
{/block:ifDisplayarchivebutton}  

The  only  parts of this that you need to worry about are in green. I’ve helpfully bolded the parts you will change. What ever is in green between ” ” will be where you put your link. The link you made with “/chrono” at the end. This will be where your blog will redirect people. in the > < area, backspace the word “archive” and put “Read From The Beginning”

So this new configuration should look like this:

{block:ifDisplayarchivebutton}
<div class=”leftbox”><a href=”http://www.yourblognamehere.tumblr.com/tagged/the_beginning/chrono“>Read From The Beginning</a></div>
{/block:ifDisplayarchivebutton}  

Basically, what you just did was take a section of your CSS that was dedicated to directing someone to aspect of your website, and force it to direct them to a completely different link: the link you created that has your posts in order.

DO NOT CHANGE ANYTHING ELSE IN YOUR CSS UNLESS YOU HAVE MAD SKILLS. OTHERWISE TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN.

5. The previous method is the most technical method, so therefore it is also the most fail safe method. The first method is the easiest. But with a lot of custom themes, often you can’t use it. You can also use these methods to create special themed pages or to redirect someone anywhere you want. For example, I created a facebook link on one of my  blogs that redirected people to my facebook. or whatever.

Anyway, I hope you guys in the writing community spread this around because so many people seem to want to know how to make this happen and I really wanted to share the knowlege. <3

If anyone has any more questions, feel free to send me an ask.

 

 

04:03

THERE IS A THING HAPPENING AND I DON’T LIKE IT

Someone is reading the wicker throne backwards

omg no 

i made a button

a special button

that arranges the whole thing in order

do you know how long it took me to learn how to make that button? Do you know how many messages i get a month asking how i made the button and to give them help on making the button?

A LOT

plus the story is way better in order. I just don’t want them to hate it because they’re reading it weirdly. 

no 

no

no

EDIT:

………………..

Maybe i should just be happy they’re reading it at all. Its just…. I really want my readers to have the best experience with  my work. I hope I don’t sound controlling.

02:09

Want Followers?

Holy crap, I forgot to transfer some of my fandom blogs over from my old primary blog to my new primary blog.

SO.

HEAR YE HEAR YE

IF YOU POST THE FOLLOWING THINGS:

  • avengers
  • teen wolf (any pairings w/e)
  • doctor who
  • the pacific
  • studio ghibli
  • misfits
  • skins
  • merlin
  • sherlock
  • writing/prose/books
  • fandom of any kind other than One Direction/Band fandoms/homestuck which i hate with a wild passion

LIKE, yes, just LIKE this post and I’ll follow you.

That’s it.

Instantly.

you don’t even have to follow me back.

Reblog if you know of people who follow you who could use some more followers. I’m pretty much doing this open season style.

Thanks!

(btw, you will be followed by the blog “kaylapocalypse”)

February 5th
22:13

hahaha I was writing graphic slash porn for one of my friends today during class and my teacher asked me to get up and close the door, so I just did without thinking about it and I left my notebook open and now the jock who sits next to me can’t look me in the eye anymore 

February 3rd
17:42

Project Library

When I was a child, my mom provided me with the best library that she possibly could. Made sure I was surrounded by books of quality, with strong characters from around the world. I want to provide the same thing for my children in the future, so I started this list called “Project Library”.  I know I’m young and unattached and childless, but its best to start these things early…

The way it works: The list is designed to collect recommendations from people who are already in their late teens/early adulthood of books that they remember from their childhoods that made an impact on them. Books that changed something in them, taught them something important, or were very dear to them. The reasoning behind this is that only the most influential books will stand out in their memories from the many other books read in their early life. 

These are the books that I will be (and have been) purchasing and collecting for my personal home library in preparation for raising a child who loves to read. 

                                             The Current List:

Pippi Longstocking

The Borrowers

Where the Sidewalk Ends 

The Grey king

Charlie bone

Exit to Eden 

Spindle’s End ( sleeping beauty) 

Sirena 

The Thief lord, 

The City of Ember

The Golden Compass (series)

Sabriel ( series), 

Pendragon ( series), 

The name of this book is secret (series), 

Harry Potter ( series), 

The series of unfortunate events, 

Nate the great, 

Diary of a Wimpy kid (series)

Where the sidewalk ends, 

The Magic Tree house ( series), 

Goose bumps,

Pretties/Uglies, 

Catherine Called Birdy, 

The Midwife’s Apprentice,’

The Giver, 

The Giving Tree,

Love you forever,

Keys to the Kingdom ( series), 

What my mother doesn’t know, 

Kissing Doorknobs, 

Inkheart, 

The mixed up files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler,

Little House on the Prarie ( series), 

Feed, 

Little sister/ Heavenward path, 

Night, 

The Bracelet,

Time Machine, 

Eragorn, 

The Alchmist, 

A Great and Terrible Beauty

Lord of the Rings

The Phantom Tollbooth

Stargirl

Holes

Bunnicula

The Devil’s arithmetic

Wild and Wooly

Tuck Everlasting

The Redwall (series)

The Hunger Games

Animorphs

Amelia bedelia 

Speak

Thirsty

Looking for Alaska

The Handmaids Tale

An Abundance of Katherines

The True Confession of Charlotte Doyle

Master and Margarita

Life of an Artist

Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking glass

Number the stars

Ender’s game

Junie B. Jones

The Egypt Game

Charlie and the Chocolate factory/Charlie and the great glass elevator

Lord of the Flies

The Outsiders

My side of the mountain

The Wizard of Oz Series

The Darkangel

Switchers / Midnight’s choice/ Wild blood

Tuck Everlasting

A Wrinkle in Time

Holes

The Whipping Boy

Hollow Kingdom

Harriet the spy

The Little Prince

++++++

The ariboolies*

If you give a mouse a cookie

The Chronicals of Narnia

Where the Wild things Are

The bearnstein bears

Judy Blume*

The boxcar children

Nancy Drew

Dr. Dog

Eloise

What Katy Did

Skellig*

Watership Down

Jane Eyre

Huckleberry Fin/Tom Sawyer

The nutcracker

The rough Faced Girl

Bunnicula

Barabar (The Elephant)

The Paper Bag Princess

I would like to turn this project out to tumblr and collect as many more recommendations as I can. The books on this list should be geared towards these  specific age groups:

baby-7th grade.  (ie: From Goodnight Moon to Harry Potter)

Recommendations will be accepted as comments, replies, asks and submissions  I will be re-posting an updated version of this list monthly.

Please Signal boost/reblog!

What books made an impact on you?

16:12

Fantasizing about the future…

I think The Wicker Throne might make a good movie.

More than a few people messaged me asking if i was interested in having Red and The Bomb be a film, but honestly, I really couldn’t see it. Its not set up to be absorbed that way, I don’t think. A lot of it is internal dialogue and I know for a fact that they would probably choose to cut out Red’s relationship with Rat, kind of like how in the film Its Kind of a Funny Story they cut out the part from the book where the girl character was in the mental institution because she was transgender (because they thought American audiences wouldn’t be able to handle it).

But The Wicker Throne is like ripe for film interpretation. Every aspect of it would be perfect for that kind of media (though I’m pretty sure they’d make the timeline linear, but whatever).

I’d love to write up a script for it after the book gets finished, but I’m so fucking terrible at writing scripts that I’d literally have no choice but to get someone else to do it/sell the rights so someone else can do it.

I’m hoping to be finished writing it by April or May, so I can spend the summer editing it and sending out more Query letters.